A Foul Month
by Atsureki
Summary: YS Shuichi is having a foul month and then Hiro supplies the straw that breaks Shu's back or maybe his sanity. Lost in rage he turns everything upside down. But is this really what it seems to be?
1. Part 1

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A Foul Month by Atsureki

Disclaimers : They don't belong to me and if you sue me you'll get zippo! I'm so freakin' poor the dogs piss on me!

Warnings : Shonen-ai (well duh this is Gravitation!), OOC, angst, strangeness and stuff

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.

Okay this things just ambushed me one late night/early morning when I suffered from insomnia. I wrote it in an hour or so, so it's probably real crappy but oh well… There are two parts and I'll slap the second one up here ASAP. 

I know Shuichi is acting soooooo weird here but the end will explain it. Actually everything that happens is explained at the end of the second part. *nods* 

I haven't written a Gravi-fic in ages so I'm probably a bit rusty. Hm I'm babbling way too much here… Just go read ne?

Part 1. 

Another morning dawned. Another day to add to the foul month that never seemed to end. It started badly just like the others and it was down right disgustingly unfair. He woke up on the couch and realized that he had overslept, again. The night before had been awful and the previous day hadn't been any better. He simply could not get a break and it was seriously getting to him. 

With an annoyed growl he threw himself off the couch and stormed around the apartment. In record time he showered, got dressed and bursted through the door. His way to the studio was filled with traps that would make him even more late and he stepped in every single one of them. Panting like crazy, sweating like a pig and with a headache that threatened to smash his brain to mush he finally entered the NG building.

"Where the hell have you been!?" an angry voice barked at him. "Is there a law that forbids you to show up on time Shuichi?" The vocalist bit the inside of his cheek and tried to calm down.

"I'm sorry K I didn't hear the alarm." His manager glared at him and pointed a gun to his head. _I really wish he would just shoot me!_ Shuichi growled in his head. Usually he could get pass these kinds of slumps but lately there had just been way too many. It was like a curse! At home he was constantly fighting with Yuki, at the studio he couldn't seem to do anything right, not to meantion the fact that his best friend was up to something that just couldn't be good. 

For some reason, that completely eluded Shuichi, Hiro had introduced another guitarist to the band. Oliver James or James Oliver, which it was nobody knew, was great with his guitar but Bad Luck didn't need him. Shuichi had almost blown a fuse when Hiro presisted that the lanky American should join them. The fact that the blonde player only listened if they called him Stallion didn't help the vocalist one bit.

"Well you've already wasted three hours of our time so get a move on!" K muttered to the pink haired man and pushed him towards the door. Shuichi gritted his teeth and really wished he could just lie down and sleep or die, whichever came first. Annoyed, tired and on his last nerve the vocalist entered the studio.

"If it isn't Shindou Shuichi! Imagine that he would grace us with his presence," Hiro greeted him with a mocking tone. He chose to ignore the comment and just glare at him instead.

"We're all here now so let's get started," K said and nodded to the auburn haired guitarist. Hiro's face immediatly became serious.

"I know you all are wondering why I asked Stallion to join us. The reason is simple… As soon as this album is done I'm leaving Bad Luck." All eyes stared at Hiro not grasping what he was saying.

"What do you mean leaving?" Shuichi asked his friend with confusion. He could see that Hiro didn't want to answer. A strange shadow crept across the guitarist's eyes and he refused to look at his friend. "Why Hiro?!"

"Shu, it's hard to explain… I just… need to leave Bad Luck," Hiro studdered. That was the straw that broke Shuichi's back or perhaps his sanity, he snapped, went nuts. Huffing and snarling like a mad bull the slender vocalist walked up to his best friend.

"Hard to explain?!" he snarled and shoved Hiro backwards. "HARD TO EXPLAIN!? We've known each other for a million years and you can't even explain why you're leaving?!" 

"Shu just calm down, please," the guitarist pleaded and tried to get a hold of his friends hands before they pushed him again. "I can't explain it to you but I really have to quit." Shuichi narrowed his eyes and felt how rage took over. Never in his life had he been so furious before.

"Good! Fine! To hell with our dreams and our friendship! I'll make it easy on you Hiroshi!" the vocalist yelled and turned to K. "As from today Bad Luck doesn't exist anymore!" The room went quiet and all eyes were glued on Shuichi.

"You don't mean that Shu," Hiro mumbled and placed his hand on the shorter man's shoulder. With dark eyes his friend pushed him away.

"I have never meant anything so much in my life! Bad Luck was our dream but if you're just gonna walk away from that then by all means be my guest. To hell with everything! This is the last time I ever set my foot in this place!" Shuichi screamed before he stormed out. He ran out from the NG building and continued down the street. Normally he would be crying but he was too angry. He saw red and was cursing under his breath. _Fuck Hiro! Damn him all the way to hell!_ How could his best friend do such a thing? And without explaining? Shuichi's insides were boiling with rage and hurt. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Golden eyes glared at the time again. 3 am and still no Shuichi. Eiri lit another cigarette and went back to pacing the apartment. He was worried and scared, two feelings he really really hated. Hiro had called him and told him what had happened and the novelist was to say the least baffled about Shuichi's actions. His lover had no problems with changing moods faster than most people could blink but that kind of full blown rage was very unlike him. 

Yuki had of course noticed that the last month had been hard on Shuichi. They were constantly at each other… Well if the blonde was honest it was more like he was constantly on Shuichi's back. He suffered from a writer's block that refused to give in, he was trying to quit smoking and his headaches were worse than ever. And as usual when his life turned to shit Eiri took it out on his lover. He knew he was unfair but couldn't help himself. 

Now he was concerned that everything that had happened was his fault and that made him angry. If there was one thing Yuki Eiri didn't allow himself it was feeling guilty! The sound of the door snapped him back to reality. Shuichi walked in with a dark expression on his face.

"Where the hell have you been?!" the novelist snarled at his lover. He was angry with Shuichi for making him worry and he was angry at himself for taking it out on him.

"Like you care," the singer snorted and brushed pass him. If Eiri hadn't been so angry he would have realized that he needed to back off but it was too late.

"Don't you dare walk away from me when I'm talking to you Brat!" the blonde growled and grabbed his lover's arm. "Where have you been?" Shuichi swirled around and hit the hand that trapped him.

"Back off Yuki! I'm in no mood for this!" The blonde narrowed his eyes and felt how anger shook him.

"What did you say?!" His voice was low and dangerous. Shuichi gritted his teeth and glared at him with rage in his beautiful eyes.

"I've had enough of you! Every damn day it's the same! You never say a kind word to me, the only time you touch me is when you want sex. I've lived here for three years and you still make me sleep on the couch! Well I'm gonna make this easy on you Yuki," the pink haired vocalist spat out. "I'm leaving! That should make you happy, right?" Completely stunned by his lover's words Eiri just stared at him. Without saying anything more Shuichi threw some clothes into a bag and headed for the door. The sound of the door slamming behind him made the novelist take a step back.

"Shuichi?" the blonde asked in confusion and sank down on the couch. He had left him… Yuki Eiri had just been dumped.

~TBC in the second and last part~

I like Shuichi all pissed off and in rage. *chuckles* And I hope I'll be seeing you again for part 2 which is almost done, just need to read it through it a few more times. Ja/Atsureki


	2. Part 2

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A Foul Month by Atsureki

Disclaimers : They don't belong to me and if you sue me you'll get zippo! I'm so freakin' poor the dogs piss on me!

Warnings : Shonen-ai (well duh this is Gravitation!), OOC, angst, strangeness and stuff

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts. 

The last part of this will explain what all this is about etc etc… It's rather weird and stuff but oh well. 

Part 2. 

Shuichi paced his hotel room and fumed. There, finally he had control of his life. Hiro, Yuki and the others could drop dead for all he cared. Everyone was always telling him what to do or not to do and he had had it! It had been about 24 hours since he had stormed out from the NG building but the rage was still boiling in his veins. None of what he had done had been logical or wise but he didn't care anymore. For once he just had to run his own life without caring about anyone, without having so much on his mind. A knock on the door made him jump. With a frown the vocalist opened and glared at his former best friend.

"What the hell do you want?" he barked at the guitarist.

"Shuichi what are you doing? Please come back," Hiro begged and looked at him with sadness. Any other day that would have melted his heart but now it just made him more pissed.

"What do you care? You're leaving remember!? It was your choice to quit not mine!" 

"Don't you understand why I have to leave?" Hiro asked quietly.

"No I don't understand and I don't really care! I thought you were my friend Hiro but I guess that's not the case huh?" Shuichi snorted and turned his back at the auburn haired man.

"Shu if I tell you exactly why I'm quitting will you listen to me?" 

"I'll listen but make it snappy! I'm not really in the mood for this," the vocalist muttered and faced the guitarist again. Hiro came in and closed the door behind him.

"These past three years have been hell for me Shuichi," Hiro mumbled and stared at the floor.

"Oh I'm so sorry I didn't notice that fulfilling our dreams was such a torment for you," the slender man snorted with sarcasm. Hiroshi didn't get angry very often but when he did he was a force to reckon with and that comment flared his temper.

"You selfish little bastard!" the guitarist yelled. "Every time Yuki does something to you you come running to me expecting me to comfort you! But you never consider my feelings for you!" Hiro continued shouting. "Do you even understand how much it hurts that I only count when you need a shoulder to cry on? I love you damnit Shuichi! But all I can do is watch how Yuki hurts you, crushes you and then I have to pick up the pieces and try to sort it out. Every fucking time I comfort you a part of me dies Shu! I'm dying inside because I'm always forced to send you back to Yuki even though all I really want to do is hold you close and tell you to give up on him!" The rage in Shuichi's eyes faded. He hadn't expected this at all. Some part of him had guessed that Hiro might have feelings for him but not anything like that.

"Hiro I… I," the vocalist studdered. 

"Forget it Shuichi! I know you don't love me but I can't live like this anymore… I didn't want to lose our friendship but… I have to do something." Shuichi felt his insides crumble. Hiro loved him and he had never seen it, never considered it. His friend was right, he had used him, hurt him in the very same way Yuki always hurt him, by not considering his feelings. 

"I'm sorry…" What else could he say?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hiro lowered his head and swallowed back his tears. He had blurted out far too much. Shuichi had had an awful month and now he had added to it. 

"I'm sorry…" Hiro looked up and met lavender eyes. 

"There's nothing to be sorry about Shu," he sighed. "I shouldn't have said anything, I know you love Yuki."

"No I don't!" Hiro stared at his friend who seemed to be just as baffled as he was.

"What did you say?" Shuichi swallowed with effort and looked utterly confused.

"I… I don't love Yuki?" the vocalist asked and sunk down on the floor. Hiro's brain raced. His friend had just stated, pretty damn firmly, that he didn't love Yuki? 

"Of course you love him Shu," the guitarist said softly. Shuichi was quiet for a long long time before he finally lifted his eyes from the floor.

"Why didn't I see it before?" the vocalist asked, sounding completely lost. "I don't love him anymore…" Hiro came closer and sat down beside him.

"You've had a hard time lately Shu but you can't seriously think that you don't love Yuki? You've fought so hard, for so long, for your realationship." Shuichi let out a hollow chuckle.

"And are you suppose to have to fight this hard? We've been together for three years and he has never once told me that he loves me, never really showed that he even cares. Hiro, I still sleep on the couch," the vocalist said with a tired voice. "How pathetic does that make me?" The guitarist frowned in confusion. He didn't understand what was going on but it pained him to see his best friend so lost and confused.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A sound awoke him. His eyes opened but it was too dark for him to really see anything at all. Confused he sat up and pulled the blanket tighter around him.

"Is it true?" He snapped his head to the left and managed to make out a tall form standing on the other end of the room. What was Yuki doing there? He had left him, hadn't he?

"Is what true?" he asked slowly.

"That you don't love me anymore." Violet eyes widened in shook. It had just been a dream, well most of it at least. It was a really weird dream since he had been able to tell what others felt too. Shuichi frowned and shook his head. Some of the beginning wasn't a dream though. He had had a very foul month with constant fights with Yuki, strangeness from Hiro, oversleeping and screwing up at the studio but his friend had not said he wanted to quit nor had there been a new guitarist. And since none of that had happened the singer hadn't snapped, hadn't ended Bad Luck or broke everything off with Yuki although he was close to it due to the constant pressure he was under. 

"Yuki," he said softly and looked at his lover. The blonde came a little closer.

"Just tell me… Is it true?" The tall novelist's voice sounded… scared? Shuichi rose and shook his head.

"Of course not Yuki. Why would you think that I don't love you anymore?" His lover ran a hand through his blonde hair and sighed.

"You said so, you screamed it out in your sleep." The singer bit his lip. 

"I had a bad dream. Everything so messed up and I just… snapped. I destroyed Bad Luck, pushed away Hiro and then I… I broke up with you," Shuichi mumbled without looking at the older man. "I just wanted everybody to leave me alone, to stop trying to get me to do things their way. Sometimes I just want to… run away." 

"I understand," the deep voice of his lover said slowly. Shuichi looked up and frowned. No Yuki didn't understand, Hiro didn't understand, no one understood! Some of the anger he had felt in that dream came to life inside of him.

"No, you don't understand!" he snapped. "At the studio I do what they tell me to do and then I come home and I can't relax because if I do you'll just throw me out again! Do you even remember how many times you've done that this month?!" Golden eyes stared at him slightly shocked.

"Five," Yuki said so quietly that his lover didn't hear him.

"What?"

"Five. Five times in almost three weeks." So Yuki did remember after all. Shuichi frowned and got his anger under control. He did not want to repeat the mistake he had made in his dream. Sure it was hard living with the novelist and sometimes he did wonder if Yuki even cared about him but he didn't want their relationship to end.

"Why? I don't understand Yuki… Lately we haven't done anything but fight. Why?" The blonde didn't answer but at least he didn't walk away like he usually did when Shuichi tried to talk to him. "I'm trying so hard to make this work Yuki, so hard but I've realized something… A relationship takes two people to work, I can't do it alone and I won't do it anymore. So far I've taken everything you've dished out to me Yuki but I can't do that anymore." There he had said what he had wanted to say for so long. The question was had he saved them or destroyed them.

"You're leaving me?" the novelist asked and licked his lips.

"No but I'm not going to chase after you anymore Yuki. I'm tired of running after you, of having to fight so hard for us. If you want out then fine I'll leave quietly and I won't come back. Bot if you want me, us, then you're going to have to fight a little too." Shuichi was probably even more shocked by himself than Yuki was. He could barely recognize his own voice and words but he was saying exactly what he felt inside. In his dream he had asked Hiro if he should have to fight so hard for love and now he was damn well going to make Yuki understand how he felt.

"Why should I fight if you're so willing to just let go?" Yuki asked flatly and some of the coldness returned to his eyes. The singer let out a hollow laughter.

"I'm not so willing to let go but I have to do something. We've been together for three years Yuki and I still sleep on the couch. You rarely show me that you even want me around, you throw me out and you never apologize for being mean to me. It's like I'm trying so hard to hold on while you just keep on pushing to get away. Make up your mind. Either you want us or you don't Yuki, it's that simple." 

"Is it?" The hushed quiestion made Shuichi widen his eyes a little.

"Do you love me Yuki?" The straight forward question caused the blonde to wince slightly. "It's a simple question, a yes or a no will do." It was quiet for a long time but Shuichi knew that he had to be patient.

"Yes." The singer let out a breath he hadn't know he was holding and it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"Then can we please stop fighting? Can we please try to have a normal relationship?" Yuki nodded and brushed away a few golden strands of hair from his face.

"I'm going to bed," the novelist said softly and turned around but he didn't walk into the bedroom. He looked at Shuichi and something that very well could have been a small smile played on his lips. "Well?" Confusion struck the singer.

"Well what?"

"Aren't you coming?" Shuichi smiled brightly and bounced over to his lover. Maybe he should have forced Yuki to listen to him sooner? Or had the time perhaps been right? He didn't know and it didn't really matter. Things weren't going to be perfect and it was going to take a lot of hard work but it was a start. When Yuki pulled him close after they had gone to bed Shuichi thanked whoever or whatever that had sent him that dream. He had had a bad month, a truely foul month and yet it had turned out better than he had ever thought it would. Content and more relaxed than either man had been in a long time they fell asleep. They were going to need their rest because they had a lot to work through but at least they had begun the process.

~Owari~

Well that sucked didn't it? *laffs* Doesn't matter I needed to get this stuff out of my system so there we go. I actually rewrote this last night. In the first draft I did it was actually Yuki who dreamt that and not Shu but it just seemed too weird to me. I think it's better this way. Oh and I know Shuichi is real real OOC but I don't really care. *frowns at herself* That lad needs to grow some balls and stand up for himself! And he did, didn't he? Besides, Yuki seems to need a few hints, or rather a ton of them. *snickers*

Oh and I bet some of you are wondering how the hell Hiro and Yuki found Shuichi, ne? To be frank I don't know and I don't really care since it's just a dream Shu has. *shrugs* Ask him not me *L* 

And please don't ask me how it went because my brain and my muse don't know. Maybe they worked it out maybe they didn't. I'll leave that up to your imagination. Anyways thanks for reading… Ja/Atsureki


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